Pity Party

I read a devotional this morning. It hit me smack in between the eyes. 
http://internetcafedevotions.com/2010/09/pity-party/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+InternetCafeDevotions+%28Internet+Cafe+Devotions%29

It spoke about having a "pity party" .   I went through that last week. 2 of the 3 kids came for a visit. They left on Tuesday, and that's when the party started. I went into  a dark hole of depression. Maybe depression is too strong of a word. But I was really down. Fred was calling it 'post partum depression'.  I loved having Freddy and Steph here, but it emphasized that Andy wasn't. Our relationship with him is not much better, another reminder....
After the kids left, I can't say when I will see them again, and that is sad. Things aren't going that great in Steph's world, and I can't do anything about that. And I am left in the middle of East Texas. I felt very lost and alone.  It lasted about 3 days. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I had to take mom to the store on Wednesday, and it took every ounce of strength to do that.

Ok, so after saying all this, not to have anyone feel sorry for me, I realized something had happened. I didn't pray. At all. For a week. Now, did the blue mood come from lack of praying or I didn't pray due to the blue mood?  I don't know, but I don't think it matters. The point is you'd think I would have had a "DUH!" moment!  The minute I started feeling down, I should have been DOWN on my knees.  But after all these years, I am still a hard-head.  (ha, I guess that's where my kids get it!)

So, I am going to put the scripture below on my bathroom mirror. I will see it every morning as a reminder cuz I sure don't want to go through a 'blue mood' again.

Let the Peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. And as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
                                                 Colossians 3:15-17

more birdies

I saw this cardinal this morning. The picture is not very clear as I took it from inside the house. I was afraid if I tried to go outside, he would fly away. And sure enough, he did....

Here are a couple of pictures of one of the hummingbirds that hang out in my backyard. He is perched on the hook holding the feeder.

They are so small! but so cute! It's been so hot, I have to refill the feeder every 2-3 days.

I really need to get a couple more.

trying to keep busy

When Fred got cement for his tower, we had a little bit of lefover. The cement had a bunch of little pebbles, and I went and scooped up a bunch of them, washed them and put them in my little fountain in front of the house.  This is the layout in front....

and here you can see the pebbles in the fountain...

 I am going to buy one of those spray paint cans that gives it the 'stone' look and spruce up my fountain. Poor thing is faded from the sun.

I also took some of the smaller ones and added them to a vase...

I like it.....

Birds

One of the things I am enjoying most living here is the birds around our house. I know I sometimes sound like a total "city girl" when I get all excited about seeing a hummingbird. But I have honestly never seen one in person. I didn't realize how small they are! This plant (don't know the name) seems to be a favorite to the hummingbird. I have a couple of them around our gazebo.

I also got a feeder as a 'gesture of friendship'.  lol

Fred and I sit at the breakfast table every evening to eat dinner and watch 'the show' the birds to put on for us. The hummingbird flying crazy from flower to flower.

 We also have mockingbirds, and they chase each other around in the yard, through the tree. They look like they are having such fun!.

( I stuck an apple in a branch to see if they would like it, and boy, did they!)

This is actually a little cat that used to hold a glass bowl for a beta fish. I broke the glass a while back and decided this was a great birdfeeder. The birds don't seem intimidated by kitty since I am having to fill it up at least once a week!

We also have some cardinals, but I haven't been able to sneak a picture of one yet. Working on it!

Our neighbor told me there are finch around here too. I think I saw one the other day. I am so new at this bird watching thing, I need to get me a book or something.

We have a big oak tree in the front yard and I hear all kinds of birds in it every morning, so I thought I would put a feeder out there too. It's a cute little mesh church shape....

Yesterday I went to see if I needed to refill it and saw this:

Some little booger has ripped the mesh trying to get to the seeds!  Fred said it's probably a squirrel, though I have yet to see one around here. That really bugged me. I need to strategically think of what birdfeeders to put out from now on....

Through all this bird watching and activity, it makes me think of my dear friend, Linda. She loves birds and knows about all kinds of them. I call her whenever I see a new one. I miss her.

That's all I got for now!  :)

changes and more changes....

Well, Mom has moved out.
When we first got here she put her name on a list at the public housing authority. She got a call last Wednesday that an apartment came open and did she want it. She jumped on it.  It is a VERY tiny place. We went to look at it on Thursday and she signed the lease, even though I could see she was very dissilusioned by the size and the fact that the stove, heat, and water heater run on gas. (she is afraid of gas).

So, in spite of the fact that she has not been well for weeks and the apt. is way too small and she has to deal with a gas stove, she was determined to move out and be 'independent'.  That is all fine and good if you CAN be independent. But mom is nearly blind, her health is poor physically and mentally.

This is going to be a trying time for us. Fred and I have agreed that we will help her as much as we can, but we aren't going to be at her 'beck and call'.  I keep reminding mom that being 'independent' means being able to take care of yourself. 
And to top it all off, I was over there trying to go through her many boxes. We agreed after seeing the size of the apt, she needs to put some things in storage. But as we are going through the boxes, I can't get her to agree to store one single thing.  She then says ' I have a 1 year lease here, so I don't want to have my things in storage for a whole year without me being able to see them' .......   So, she plans on moving AGAIN in a year.  I told her Fred was done. He wasn't going to move her anymore. (We have moved her 10 times in 25 years).  She is incredible.

So, now I have an actual guest room. I am looking forward to putting it together. We have a full size bed in the 'radio' room, but I have told Freddy he can have it. I would love to find an old headboard, maybe iron, or wood, but definitely with an air of antique. Just have to convince Fred!  lol

Other possible changes are in the air, but I can't really talk about it right now.  Just know the Nassars could use some prayers!!

Another example of how God is in control

Fred had a follow up with the GI dr and a Rheumatologist last Friday in Tyler. Since Tyler is 1 1/2 hours away, we planned on making it a day of it....

I have to admit, I wasn't real excited about the followups. I figured his GI dr. would come in, say 'how are ya? good? no more pain? good, $35 please...."  And the Rheumatologist, well, I KNEW Fred didn't have RA cuz I have it and he doesn't have any of the symptoms...  Boy, was I wrong!

First, we go to the Rheumatologist. He talks to Fred a bit about what sent him to the hospital, the vasculitis, and celiac sprue.... He then does a physical exam.  Fred told him that he had Osteoarthritis in the hip, diagnosed 4 yrs ago.  The doctor looks at him and says "you don't have that, you have Ankylosing Spondylitis.  Of course, our response is "anky-what??"   
Well, it's a type of arthritis that hits the spine. (well, a little more complex, hit the link for more info) This condition attacks the spine, causes the vertebrae to fuse together which causes you to start having a curved spine. And that's the least of it. It can also affect the rib cage to fuse and seriously hinder the breathing.
I have known for years now there was something going on with Fred's back. He is getting a 'hunchback'. When he lays on the floor, the back of his head doesn't touch the floor. When he went to the orthopedics in Brandon 4 years ago cuz his hip was giving him trouble (another symptom of AS) ,  he was told it was osteoarthritis. Oh, and he had some kind of congenital disease in his spine. That's it. Nothing else.  Fred left thinking 'I was born with this, can't really do anything about it'.
Well, YES, there is something that can be done. He is going to start taking a medicine, Enbrel, once a week. It's in an injection form, like an epie pen.  This will slow down the progress of the disease, if not stop it. Now, the damage done cannot be reverse, which is very frustrating, since he could have started taking care of this 4 years ago!
So, HOW IS GOD IN CONTROL of all this??   Well, let's see, we move to TX away from all we know as home. 5 months after Fred gets here, he drops from severe abdominal pains. Otherwise a very healthy guy, he gets diagnosed with Vasculitis of the main arteries to the digestive organs (Very rare to happen), but the drs dig deeper to find out why he got it. Ends up he has Celiac Sprue, probably brought on by the stress of all he has gone through in the last 5 months. Well, Celiac Sprue is (somehow) connected to 'auto immune' disorders, so he was told to see a Rheumatologist, who finally CORRECTLY diagnosed him with AS!!!

See? if we had stayed in Florida, I don't know any of this would have happened. Yeah, my husband has been sick and has been diagnosed with some pretty serious stuff. But NOW we know and we can do something about it.

Ok, and last but not least. With Celiac Sprue, Fred's diet has changed. He can't have ANY food with wheat, rye or barley. Yeah, that includes all cake mixes, most flours and breads. We have shopped around for 'gluten free' products and found some at Walmart. Small selection and NOT cheap.  Well, lo and behold, here comes David May. Who is this, you ask? He is a member of our Sunday School class. He works for a company who produces different types of foods, mainly mass quantity of things like flour, breading, for other food companies. Well, they are now working on coming up with 'gluten free' products. Last week, he brought us all kinds of stuff, pancake mix, flour, muffin mix, cake mix. ALL gluten free, and FREE to us! 

You see, God knew,WAY before we had a desire to move to Texas,  that we would be attending 1st Baptist Mt Pleasant, we would join a little bitty SS class cuz the new teacher was so kind on my 1st Sunday at the church. That Fred would be diagnosed with this condition out of the blue and we would need to change our diet....  

I get so excited when I talk about all this, I almost start yelling.  It can't get any more clear than this. God is an All Knowing God.  He knows every need we have and is not only by our side through it all, He is ahead of us getting it all ready.   Isn't that the coolest thing???

America

The choir at church sang this today....
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be born in America.