The other morning, Fred hollered 'Valerie, look at the back yard!"

We had 2 visitors. I have seen the sand hill cranes in our neighborhood before, but never in our yard. They are pretty cool looking. These guys were about 4 feet tall. I went outside to take a picture trying not to scare them off. But those birds are pretty bold. They came right up to me and had a stare down. Then they started 'gawking'. They are loud! I told them to hush or they would wake the neighbors! lol

I must say, it was a neat way to start the day.

I am sitting here listening to rain. I love that sound! I wish I could stay here and read my book.
But, good news! Mom is coming home today! I am picking her up in 1 hour.

We are going to make some adjustments in our schedules to make sure she is taking care of herself: taking her meds when she's supposed to, eating.... She has become quite dependant at the hospital, and I will do all I can to take care of her at home, but sometimes it's hard for me to know when I am 'taking care' of her or when I am 'bossing her' around, which causes mom to get agitated.... so prayer for discernment of this will be appreciated!!!

As the World Turns---Nassar Style

My life is anything but boring....
It's Summer time, I made up a To-Do list of things I would like to accomplish over the Summer since I am not working:

1- paint foyer table
2- make file organizer in office
3- clean up Fred’s closet
4- organize pictures in tubs
5- transfer Andy’s videos to DVD
6- transfer Steph’s videos to DVD
7- make folder of Mom’s important numbers, dr., services
8- paint family room
9- paint bedroom
10- clean out patio room
11- deal with pinball machine
12- clean patio room windows
13- weed out backyard
14- learn to play racquetball
15- read 3 books

So far, I have read 1 1/2 books...

So what have I done so far? attempted to help in VBS, didn't make 2 of the days. Took mom to the ER on Thursday. She was admitted and is still there. Her breathing had gotten too bad. I am not sure when she will be coming home. The doctor said she wouldn't go home until she could walk the hallway without getting winded. Well, she hasn't been able to do that in years so I don't think that is a realistic goal.... I have left messages for her doctor to call me with an update, so I hope to hear from him tomorrow.
I am trying to get help getting legal documents drawn up so I can take care of mom's personal business (medical,home services....) she wants me to handle the communications with her doctors more and more. Plus, she really is starting to get confused and forgetful....
Andy is looking for a car. I told him to make sure he gets his dad involved. Well, since Fred works during the day, he has decided to have ME involved. So, when not at the hospital, I am hearing from Andy asking to go look at a car or calling up someone on craigslist...
Now, I am not complaining (too much) about Andy needing my help. The thing is, when I get done taking him where he wants to go, I have to take him back to the Thompson's house. A constant reminder that he is living with another family. That gets to me.... but I will continue to be there for him and pray one day he'll come around and see the obsurdity of it all.
Steph came home for Father's Day. She brought her new boyfriend. He is a policeman. Seemed nice enough. And cute. But how much can you really get from an afternoon? So, we will see...
Freddy is still in Texas... I know, where else would he be? hehe
I miss him terribly and don't really hear much from him. He will tell you there is nothing new to tell.

I have a friend. I didn't know she was bipolar, never saw any emotional problems. Well, she decided to get off her meds and went down hill fast. Her mother came from out of state and tried to talk her into going to see her doctor, but she didn't 'see the need'. So, today, she was supposed to be baker-act. This is so sad. She is a very giving, sweet, intelligent woman. It has been remarkable seeing the transformation.

Now, in the middle of all of this is a remarkable man. He is patient, supportive, and rock solid for me. God certainly knew what He was doing when He brought Fred into my life. I think I would have to be admitted to the hospital myself if I didn't have Fred.

God is good. He is not going to allow things in my life that I can't handle (with HIS help). But, frankly, I am tired....

you know how cool God is? Fred and I were having a conversation about our own ailments (Fred has hip problems,is having ear drum surgery, I just finished with tests regarding a cyst...) and all of the other 'issues' surrounding us. And then I get on Facebook and Windy Tucker posts the scripture below. It was EXACTLY what we needed to hear, to be reminded.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor 4:16-18 NIV)

Andy Nassar Graduates!!

I am a bad parent.... it has taken me over a week to post this. But Andy doesn't check this blog, so he will never know! lol

It was a nice weekend, still had some hurting moments, but over all, I thank God for the progress we have had with Andy. I can't believe that my baby is 18 and finished with high school! Oh, to turn back time!! I would enjoy it a lot more!!

Fun In The Sun

We went to Fort DeSoto this past Saturday... Steph said she wanted to fish, but after seeing her dad take the hooks off the fish, she changed her mind. She kept saying "Dad! you're killing the fish!" "it's suffocating!" hehe

So, we let Bella entertain us in the water. She just loves the water. And for some reason, she went spastic and started running really fast in circles. It was a hoot!

Birthday #44

yes, that's me 44 years ago.

I think I was 3 (?) in this one

My birthday was last Thursday. I have no shame when my birthday comes. I tell everyone who will listen. I think birthday people SHOULD be celebrated. I try to do that with my family and my friends. I mean, you should celebrate that God has given you another year, right?

Not to sound whiny, but most of my birthdays have not been all that memorable. Maybe it's because my expectations are too high? I don't know... but my bdays usually come and go without too much fanfare... In my 'old age' , I have come to accept this. I usually just treat myself to some goodies. This year, I went and bought me a cute summer set to wear to school.

But I have to say, that even though with all the stuff going on in my life this year, my birthday wasn't bad. One of the teachers got me cupcakes, the kids in my class sang to me, SOME of them behaved for me (lol). Another teacher and her class sang to me in the lunchroom. (it was funny cuz the kids were singing, but then they asked, 'who is she?')
My best friend (and hubby) took me out for chinese and Star Trek. So, over all, it was a pretty cool day.

I don't know if it is my getting more 'mature', or growing closer to the Lord through life's issues. But I find myself looking forward to Heaven. I mean, as a Christian, I have always thought of Heaven as a place to look forward to. But I always had the thought in the back of my mind: don't take me yet Lord, let me spend more time with my kids, my family, there is still stuff I want to do....
Not anymore. I am ready. I can't wait for the "no more tears, no more pain, no more fears".

But until that day, I'll hold on to HIM always.

Update on Mom

I was reviewing my blog post and realized I hadn't updated on Mom.
We went to her pulmonologist on Thursday. He said the nodules have grown an inch. That is very quickly. He will be doing a biopsy in a couple of weeks. His opinion, it grew TOO fast to be a tumor, could be an infection, though she hasn't had any fevers with it. It could also have something to do with her rheumatoid arthritis... bottom line, he doesn't know.

We are still adjusting. Some days good, others, not so... still trying to go through boxes. Fred is looking forward to having the patio room back to normal. (normal, hahaha)

I am trying to figure out how much control and in charge should I be of my mom. She is getting very forgetful, she wants me to be the one to communicate with her doctors, but at the same time, she is paranoid that people are keeping things from her. So I have to be careful that I don't look like I am taking over things she still wants control over. It's a delicate thing.

But God is in control of this situation as well. I know He is. And that gives me peace.

Isaiah 41:10

God is good

Yes, that's Andy on the couch with his dad. He called and said he would come over for a while, so we decided to watch a movie. Well, the movie was 'the day the earth stood still'... don't really blame him for falling asleep. Not a great movie...

But what is more important is the fact he came over. He has been over 2 times since Mother's Day. On his own, without our asking him. It looks like maybe we are turning a corner. He is opening up a little at a time. And since he has never been much of a talker, it's ok.

I am cautiously optimistic. I don't really know what caused the change, and the control freak in me is needing to know all the facts. But I also know the lessons I am learning, and being a control freak does not fit in God's plan. So I bite my tongue and just appreciate the time with him.

I just took him back. I will not say 'home' because where he lives IS NOT his home. And even though we got to spend 3 hours with him, it hurts my heart.

I ask for continued prayer. Pray I don't mess this up. I tend to want to fill the quiet with questions and trivial talk... I feel awkward with him. I don't want to be too 'nosy' but at the same time, I want to take advantage of every minute I have with him.