Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Pity Party

I read a devotional this morning. It hit me smack in between the eyes. 

It spoke about having a "pity party" .   I went through that last week. 2 of the 3 kids came for a visit. They left on Tuesday, and that's when the party started. I went into  a dark hole of depression. Maybe depression is too strong of a word. But I was really down. Fred was calling it 'post partum depression'.  I loved having Freddy and Steph here, but it emphasized that Andy wasn't. Our relationship with him is not much better, another reminder....
After the kids left, I can't say when I will see them again, and that is sad. Things aren't going that great in Steph's world, and I can't do anything about that. And I am left in the middle of East Texas. I felt very lost and alone.  It lasted about 3 days. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I had to take mom to the store on Wednesday, and it took every ounce of strength to do that.

Ok, so after saying all this, not to have anyone feel sorry for me, I realized something had happened. I didn't pray. At all. For a week. Now, did the blue mood come from lack of praying or I didn't pray due to the blue mood?  I don't know, but I don't think it matters. The point is you'd think I would have had a "DUH!" moment!  The minute I started feeling down, I should have been DOWN on my knees.  But after all these years, I am still a hard-head.  (ha, I guess that's where my kids get it!)

So, I am going to put the scripture below on my bathroom mirror. I will see it every morning as a reminder cuz I sure don't want to go through a 'blue mood' again.

Let the Peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. And as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
                                                 Colossians 3:15-17

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